Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

Ehh

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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