An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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How High is a Chinese man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops