Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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