How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I read the terms of service.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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