Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops