I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Sloths

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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