When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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