What is older than history?

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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autistic kids rock

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops