Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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i dont fisish anythi

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Click here to end the world.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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