What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Emily Walker.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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