A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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Emily Walker.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Hello.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops