why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Jovan

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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FUCK YOU

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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