What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

A white player in the NBA. Wait...

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

NEVER

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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