How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops