How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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