There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

woman's lacrosse

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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