A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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