Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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2 black kids walk into school

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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