Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops