How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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My parents died!

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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Smelly Indians.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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You sick fiend

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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