how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops