Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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HOLY COW!

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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A man was shot. He died.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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