Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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