- Anti Joke

your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

Two men are sitting on a sidewalk, The first man says: I know more about Brad Pitt than you, The other man says: Skip Bayless (born John Bayless II on December 4, 1951) is a sports journalist and television personality who is currently working for ESPN as a commentator. Bayless is featured on ESPN First Take, ESPN2's daily sports talk morning program, where he participates in a daily debate segment with Stephen A. Smith. Bayless is based in Bristol, Connecticut, ESPN's home base, and has been since production of the predecessor of First Take, Cold Pizza, moved from New York City to Bristol. Prior to moving to New York full-time, Bayless was a sportswriter by trade, most recently working for the San Jose Mercury News in California. Contents [hide] * 1 Schooling and family * 2 Writing career * 3 Radio and television o 3.1 ESPN First Take * 4 Cultural references * 5 Bibliography * 6 See also * 7 References * 8 External links Schooling and family Although he was born John Edward Bayless II in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, his father immediately began calling him Skip or Skipper. The name stuck, and Skip Bayless was never called John by his parents. He eventually had his name legally changed to Skip. He is also the older brother of chef, restaurateur and TV personality Rick Bayless. Bayless attended Northwest Classen High School, and was a player on the school's basketball team that made it to the 1970 Oklahoma State Finals. According to Bayless he was a starter for the team, though this has been disputed by others. He averaged only 1.4 points per game, and didn't register any stats in the State Final.[1] Upon graduation he was awarded the prestigious Grantland Rice Scholarship (named for the famed sportswriter of the same name), and went on to attend Vanderbilt University. While at Vanderbilt, he majored in English and History and was a member of Phi Kappa Sigma. He is also a member of the inaugural class of the Vanderbilt Student Media Hall of Fame.[2] Writing career Bayless went directly from Vanderbilt to The Miami Herald, where he wrote sports features for two years before being hired away by the Los Angeles Times. There, he was best known for investigative stories on the Dodgers' clubhouse resentment of "golden boy" Steve Garvey and his celebrity wife Cyndy and on Rams owner Carroll Rosenbloom's behind-the-scenes decisions to start different quarterbacks each week (James Harris, Pat Haden or Ron Jaworski). Bayless also won the Eclipse Award for his coverage of Seattle Slew's Triple Crown. At 25, Bayless was hired by The Dallas Morning News to write its lead sports column, and two years later, the rival Dallas Times Herald hired him away by making him one of the country's highest paid sports columnists—prompting The Wall Street Journal to do a story on the development. Bayless was voted Texas sportswriter of the year three times. In 1989, Bayless wrote God's Coach, about the rise and fall of Tom Landry's Dallas Cowboys. Following the Cowboys' Super Bowl victory in 1993, Bayless wrote The Boys, and following a third Cowboys Super Bowl win in four seasons, Bayless wrote the third and final book of his Cowboys trilogy, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About the "Win or Else" Dallas Cowboys. Hell-Bent caused a stir over Bayless' speculation, without providing any evidence, that Cowboy's quarterback Troy Aikman was gay.[3] After covering the Cowboys through the 1996 season, Bayless chose to leave Dallas after 17 years and become the lead sports columnist for the Chicago Tribune. In his first year in Chicago, Bayless won the Lisagor Award for excellence in sports column writing and was voted Illinois sportswriter of the year. After a highly publicized dispute with the Tribune's executive editor, Ann Marie Lipinski, over limiting all Tribune columns to just 650 or so words, Bayless decided to leave Chicago and was immediately hired by Knight Ridder Corporation to write for its flagship newspaper, the San Jose Mercury News.[4] While in San Jose, Bayless became a fixture on ESPN's Rome is Burning and in a weekly Sunday Morning SportsCenter debate with Stephen A. Smith, "Old School/Nu Skool." ESPN hired Bayless full-time in 2004 to team with Woody Paige, then of the Denver Post, on ESPN2's Cold Pizza and to write columns for ESPN.com. In 2007, Bayless stopped writing columns to concentrate on his television duties, which included a spinoff of his roundtable discussions with Paige called 1st and 10 and the rebranded First Take. The first man says: Hi.

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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