Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Stephen Hawking

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Bob Saget

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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