roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What stops a train? A missile

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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