Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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