Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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