oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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