what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops