What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

A man walks into a bar. Ow

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

ask me if i am a tree. no.

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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