What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Justin Beiber

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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