Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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It got hit by a rocket.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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A jew enters a mall.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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