What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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