Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

ring around the rosie ... your dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down

it was all Tagart

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down

Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops