A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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What are annoying? Ads.

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http://www.com/

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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