How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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