What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops