VITAMIN C!

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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