How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Your mums a potato

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Guest what? Dog

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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