Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Poop

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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