how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwarvt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwa

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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