Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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That is so fetch

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops