What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops