what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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your face

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops