Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

How do you make a little girl cry?

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

why did the boy die? because he got shot

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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