A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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kathryn atkins

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops