Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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