Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops