There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops