Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

Oh, go away

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

What colour are blackberries? Purple.

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

2 + 2 = fish

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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