why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -19

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops