What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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